Your Tribe Is Good for Your Health
- drlenoraepple
- May 29
- 7 min read
One of my favorite parts of the Yellow Rose Luncheon Women of Achievement was watching each honoree’s “tribe” show up.
You could see it in the room, and you could hear it the moment each honoree’s name was announced — tables erupting in cheers, applause, laughter, and the kind of joyful shouting that makes you realize, Oh, these are her people.
It was exhilarating.
And when Zim Schwartze was honored as one of this year’s Women of Achievement, her tribe was impossible to miss.
They were there not just to clap politely, but to celebrate her. To cheer for her. To laugh with her. To hold the story of who she is beyond the title, the accomplishments, the résumé, and the impressive list of “firsts.”
And Zim has quite a list.
She grew up in Jefferson City, became a trailblazer in law enforcement, served as the first female SWAT Commander and first female Commander of the Columbia Police Department, led in emergency communications and public safety, supported Special Olympics for years, ran ultramarathons, raised a family, mentored others, and somehow also had sheep, goats, dogs, cats, cows, and probably more moving parts than most of us could manage with a spreadsheet and a full-time assistant.
But one of the most touching moments in her acceptance speech was not about the awards or accomplishments.
It was when she talked about her husband, Jay.
She thanked him for being the person who kept life moving when she was away at trainings, races, teaching events, special events, and all the other commitments that came with a full and meaningful life.
“He makes sure it’s all taken care of,” she said.
And in that moment, you could feel something many of us understand deeply:
No one becomes who they are alone.
Behind so many strong, capable, high-achieving women, there is often a circle of people helping make the life possible.
The spouse who gets the kids ready.
The friend who remembers the hard day.
The coworker who covers the gap.
The neighbor who checks in.
The sister who tells the truth.
The mentor who opens the door.
The group that cheers when you win and brings snacks when you fall apart.
That is your tribe.
And as it turns out, your tribe is not just good for your heart in the sentimental way.
It is good for your heart in the medical way, too.
Connection Is Not Just Nice. It Is Protective.
We talk a lot about the usual ingredients for a long, healthy life: eat well, move your body, don't smoke, get enough sleep, manage stress, and keep up with preventive care.
All true.
But social connection belongs on that list, too.
Research involving hundreds of thousands of people has shown that people with stronger social relationships tend to live longer than those who are more isolated. Social isolation and loneliness have been linked to higher risks of early death, heart disease, stroke, dementia, depression, anxiety, inflammation, and poorer overall health.
Now, before anyone panics and starts counting how many friends they texted this week, this is not meant to become one more thing to obsess about.
This is not, “Oh great, now I need meal prep, strength training, eight hours of sleep, and a fully optimized friendship portfolio.”
You know me better than that by now.
This is a reminder that the everyday relationships we sometimes take for granted are doing more for us than we realize.
The quick check-in text.
The walking buddy.
The Sunday lunch.
The group chat that is 40% logistics, 30% memes, 20% emotional support, and 10% “I’m on my way!”
The people who know when you are being weird and lovingly ask, “Okay, what’s actually going on?”
That connection matters.
Why Community Helps Us Live Better
Strong social ties protect our health in several ways.
Supportive relationships help calm the body’s stress response. When we feel connected and safe, our bodies do not have to stay in constant “handle everything alone” mode.
Connection can also influence our habits. People who are socially engaged are often more likely to stay active, eat better, keep appointments, ask for help, and recover more effectively from setbacks.
Community also gives us purpose. When people are counting on us, and when we know we matter to others, it can change how we move through the world.
And maybe one of the most important pieces is this:
A good tribe helps carry the weight when life gets heavy.
Because the real test of community is not whether people show up when everything is fun, polished, catered, and photographed beautifully.
The real test is whether they stay close when life is inconvenient.
When the diagnosis comes.
When the caregiving gets hard.
When grief changes the room.
When the kids need more than you have.
When your body is not cooperating.
When your marriage, job, energy, confidence, or sense of identity is in a hard season.
That is when connection becomes more than social.
It becomes stabilizing.
It becomes protective.
It becomes part of how we survive, heal, and keep going.
The Gift of Being Someone’s Person
One of the beautiful things about Zim’s story is that it reminds us that a strong tribe is often made of people who keep showing up.
Sometimes dramatically.
More often practically.
They feed the dogs.
They pick up the kids.
They sit in the audience.
They make sure the house keeps running.
They clap the loudest.
They remember who you were before the award and who you still are after it.
And honestly, that is its own kind of heroism.
Not everyone is called to be the person standing at the podium.
Some people are called to be the reason the person at the podium made it there in one piece.
Both matter.
We need the leaders, the trailblazers, the advocates, the mentors, the community builders, and the women willing to step into hard spaces.
But we also need the people who make that work sustainable.
The people who support the people doing the work.
The people who quietly hold up the ones everyone else is applauding.
That kind of support does not always get an award, but it deserves deep gratitude.
Your Tribe Does Not Have to Be Huge
The good news is that connection does not require a massive social circle.
Your tribe may be one person.
It may be two.
It may be your spouse, your sister, your best friend, your neighbor, your walking buddy, your church friend, your work friend, or the person who always saves you a seat.
It does not have to be a crowd to count.
You do not need 27 best friends, secret handshakes, a packed social calendar, and matching T-shirts.
Your tribe may be small.
Small counts.
Consistent counts.
Real counts.
It may be the people you text when something wonderful happens.
It may be the people you text when everything falls apart.
It may be the person who knows your coffee order, your dog’s name, your hard season, and exactly when to show up with a bottle of wine or highly inappropriate humor.
And if you are in a season where your circle feels smaller than you want it to be, that does not mean something is wrong with you. It means you may need more opportunities for connection, and that is a very human need.
Join the group.
Go to the event.
Volunteer.
Invite someone for a walk.
Say yes once in a while.
Ask for help before you are completely underwater.
Be the person who reaches out, and also allow yourself to be reached.
Giving support is powerful.
Receiving it matters, too.
A Celebration of the People Who Hold Us Up
When I think back to Zim and her tribe at the Yellow Rose Luncheon, I keep thinking about how much our health is shaped by the people who help us feel anchored.
The people who remind us who we are.
The people who help us do brave things.
The people who make it possible for us to serve, lead, grow, parent, work, heal, and keep going.
As a physician, I want people to understand that health is not only found in labs, prescriptions, nutrition plans, and exercise routines, although those matter.
Health is also found in connection.
In belonging.
In laughter.
In purpose.
In being known.
In having someone who notices when you are not okay.
In having people who celebrate your wins and help carry your hard days.
Zim’s story is a beautiful reminder that behind a woman of achievement, there is often a community of support. And behind many meaningful lives, there are people who kept showing up in a thousand ordinary ways.
So here is to Zim.
Here is to her tribe.
And here is to all the tribes out there quietly helping people become who they are meant to be.
You may be doing more for someone’s health, courage, purpose, and longevity than you realize.
And if you have a tribe like that?
Thank them.
If you are part of a tribe like that?
Keep showing up.
It matters more than you know.
I cannot write about the power of a tribe without acknowledging my own.
This photo was taken on a very hard day in my life. What you cannot see from the picture is everything I was carrying when it was taken. What you can see, though, is that I look genuinely happy.
And I was.
Not because everything was easy, but because I was surrounded by people who immediately lifted me up, encouraged me, reassured me, and reminded me that I was going to be okay.
They were right.
Things are great now, but I will never forget how much their support meant during that season. They helped me stand a little taller when I felt shaken, and they kept reminding me of who I was until I could fully feel it again myself.
To my tribe: thank you for showing up, then and now. You are proof that the right people can help carry you through a hard chapter and celebrate with you on the other side. 💛
At Focused Health & Wellness, I believe preventive care includes
more than labs and checklists. It includes understanding
the real life you are living — your stress, your support system,
your energy, your habits, and the people helping you stay well.
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